17,498
Stepping Forward | Izzy Deutsch | Oil pastel
17,498 by Zainab B. Faal
I say, Salam1,
To my daughter,
but she doesn't reply.
The only sound is the whisper of the wind.
“Baba, I don't like to see you cry.”
She’s not here to dry my eyes.
Daughter, don't you see me weep?
Silence is what answers me.
I can't help but stare,
Over your body.
Lifeless in my arms
Under a white sheet.
I just cleaned your blood from the streets.
Your eyes used to shine—
the most hopeful shade of green.
With innocence, a smile won easily.
Now I look at your colorless face,
And the only thing I see is red.
But you still shine with Noor2.
We played beneath the sprawling olive trees,
where I would lean down and press my lips to your soft cheek.
My habibti3.
But now, here I am, standing over your grave,
Dug with the same hands that once cradled you,
that nurtured you.
I held you close,
But now I lay you gently down unto the bitter dirt.
I was meant to be your protector,
to guard you from the world,
yet the cruel shellings found you first,
The Angel of Death stole you away from me.
I am left with an unbearable weight—
a father who has failed his child.
How can I climb out of the grave—
Head down while I walk away,
while the soul of my soul19—
my daughter—
my little daughter—
Will never walk again?
Instead, you will remain underground,
but in perfect peace.
You didn’t see the triumph of this Holy Land,
Where you used to dream of running free.
And soon your home will be Jannatul Firdaus4.
But for now,
You are just another number.
You are just a white bag with a name written on it.
You are just another martyr—
Another casualty.
And I am the only one left to remember you.
But Allah has promised the believers victory.
And though I rarely understand it right now—
I am patiently waiting for his decree.
As the world moves on,
Allah will always be Al-Baseer5.
Allah will always be As-Samee’6.
Allah will always be Al-Khabeer7.
Allah will always be Ar-Raqeeb8.
Allah will always be Al-Hakeem9.
Allah will always be Al-Muhyee10.
Allah will always be Al Mumeet11.
Allah will always be Al-Haqq12.
Allah will always be Al-Mujeeb13.
I say, Salam,
To my daughter,
But she doesn’t reply.
And as I sit here—
Deep in my heart is a drop of peace.
An oasis amidst the storm.
The world is asking,
“How are the Palestinians still going?”
Little do they know we are the winners,
Whether we die or have victory.
Inshallah14, Palestine will be free.
We are the Musliminas15 and Muslimats16—
And Al-Azeez17 is our Wali18.
“Surely, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find ease.”
Holy Quran 13:28.
1: Islamic greeting (peace be upon you)
2: Light
3: Sweetheart
4: Highest level of Heaven
5: The All-Seeing
6: The All-Hearing
7: The All-Aware
8: The Watchful
9: The All-Wise
10: The Giver of Life
11: The Causer of Death
12: The Truth
13: The Answerer
14: By the will of God
15: The female believers
16: The male believers
17: The All-Mighty
18: Ally
19: The words of Khaled Naben (who was later martyred) after the death of his young granddaughter